Push over that heavy blanket, it’s time to wake up. I don’t like waking up, most of the time. I love going to bed, it’s like watching the sun set. The feeling that wells up inside as I watch the beautiful horizon and the colors that play in the sky. From hot red to orange, as the sun is about to disappear, the colors that mystify the sky induce some exiting ripples in my body. They make me realize that even though the sun is gonna sleep, God won’t. Gives me a reassurance that just because today everything sucked doesn’t mean my hatchet is buried, still, all is well.
My bed, my warm high bed is overcrowded with teddy bears that love me wholly and fluffy purple pillows and clean blue sheets and heavy blankets. It is so warm and cozy that every time I enter it I feel as if angels were gathering around me for a group hug. It’s a safe haven away from all worries, where the evils of this unfair world can not sneak through and destroy me. I have a pink mosquito net around my bed. It keeps out not just those irky mosquitoes but disturbing dreams as well.
Every time I snuggle into my safe haven, I forget all the troubles of today. Some nights, my mind skims through the rough brushes I’ve had, through my disappointments and unfulfilled dreams. Most times it gets too overwhelming, that’s when I rush to bed. In there, I’m free to hope and to fantasize. There are times when I remember to pray, talk and cry out to God. Sometimes I’m too much taken in my human weaknesses, I forget to pray, but I know God doesn’t forget me. In my bed, I let my mind roam free. I know that in there I can cry, weep till my pillows soak wet. I can pull at my hair, throw things around the room and punch at my pillows hard. And no one will know, so my ego, my precious pride stays intact.
Then there are those nights when I’ve had a good day. When I feel good about myself and confident that the world isn’t against me. In my bed I can giggle by myself and laugh ecstatically. I can talk out loud to myself in the dark. It’s like a private resort. No peeping Toms and no nosy Diana’s, so no one will know that am going nuts and my sanity will not be questioned. I think that’s awesome.
Sometimes during the day, I like to sneak back to my bed. I don’t mind that it’s perceived as laziness, I just love my sweet bed too much to care. In there I fantasize about my bright future. I see all things rosy, sweet and smooth. My faith grows heaps as I see my dreams unfold. It’s in my bed that I psyche myself up, convince myself that yeah, I will succeed. Then, I get up motivated to reach out for my dreams, I believe in myself. I will achieve. Those few times I get out prepared to fight for what I believe in, it didn’t just fall from the blue, it was conceived in my mind as I lay on my haven of a bed.
Yesterday, things were damn freaking nasty, so am afraid to wake up today. Besides it’s so cold out there. So I’ll sleep some more, wake up later in the day, or tomorrow even. I hope I’ll be psyched up and rejuvenated when I eventually have to leave my bed.
