I have not written in over a year. Well, I have. But text messages and emails and work reports or letters do not really count. I have not written a blog post in over a year.
Weirdly, I am content in spite of this. Because I have found other ways to explore and express myself. I've found other ways to interact with the many thoughts, emotions, and situations I experience. I've matured. I enjoy short walks in the evening. I've decided what genre of music soothes or energizes me depending on what I need. I've found diverse ways to connect with people and share my thoughts. I've explored some habits I'd like to keep and some I need to boot.
At first, I stopped writing because I got busy at my job and couldn't make the time. Then I had the time but my heart wasn't at peace. And I couldn't bear to write because every time I was alone with my thoughts, they went to a place I didn't want to dwell. Then I found ways to deal with my insecurities and control my fantasies. But, I'd already become lazy. I was already reading less and less. I had pulled away from the things and the habits that nurture my inspiration. So even when I did sit to write, my thoughts would not pull together into words I could shape
In 2018, I want to get back to writing. Because I am lonely without my scribbles. Because I love the person writing makes me. Because I like how literature and poetry influence my relationships and my ability to intimately connect with the people I love. When I'm writing, I feel in sync with my purpose and I'm better placed to pursue my many dreams. When I'm writing, I don't struggle to express what I'm feeling. It is easier to ponder on the diverse experiences I encounter.
I want to once again write about my experiences. I want to write about the world as I am in it. I want to pen poetry again. I want to explore new subjects.
I want to write my heart out.
So I shall write!
Weirdly, I am content in spite of this. Because I have found other ways to explore and express myself. I've found other ways to interact with the many thoughts, emotions, and situations I experience. I've matured. I enjoy short walks in the evening. I've decided what genre of music soothes or energizes me depending on what I need. I've found diverse ways to connect with people and share my thoughts. I've explored some habits I'd like to keep and some I need to boot.
At first, I stopped writing because I got busy at my job and couldn't make the time. Then I had the time but my heart wasn't at peace. And I couldn't bear to write because every time I was alone with my thoughts, they went to a place I didn't want to dwell. Then I found ways to deal with my insecurities and control my fantasies. But, I'd already become lazy. I was already reading less and less. I had pulled away from the things and the habits that nurture my inspiration. So even when I did sit to write, my thoughts would not pull together into words I could shape
In 2018, I want to get back to writing. Because I am lonely without my scribbles. Because I love the person writing makes me. Because I like how literature and poetry influence my relationships and my ability to intimately connect with the people I love. When I'm writing, I feel in sync with my purpose and I'm better placed to pursue my many dreams. When I'm writing, I don't struggle to express what I'm feeling. It is easier to ponder on the diverse experiences I encounter.
I want to once again write about my experiences. I want to write about the world as I am in it. I want to pen poetry again. I want to explore new subjects.
I want to write my heart out.
So I shall write!
No comments:
Post a Comment